I’m reading The Goddesses in Everywoman again after many years. It’s a comforting reminder that powerful archetypes — unconscious inner forces — play out in our lives to greater degrees at different times. I’m not stuck in this role of patterns and habits. The goddess Athena, logical and self-assured, has not left me. It’s just that now Demeter, the great mother driven to nurture and sustain, dominates my psyche after supporting my daughter’s four year fight with chronic illness.
When you’re defined by what you give, there’s not much incentive to receive. The edges of your desires, needs, and goals disappear in doing for others. You lose the sense of your true self. Do you remember who she is?
As a mother and caregiver, I often dilute my energy and thus my sense of self because I’m empathic and highly intuitive. Sensitivity is a curse when it leads to over-giving, but a powerful gift when you discover its potential to create a life you love.
I’ve consciously cultivated this power for over 30 years, and still I stumble. I wound up on the ground often in recent years, but each time intuitive grace urged me to find my edges to feel empowered and alive again.
It takes time to find your edges after giving so much for so long. When you do, they are frayed and tattered, appearing beyond repair. But pulling back the folds to examine them closer, it’s clear what needs to be cut; what can be mended, reinforced, and extended — adorned even — so some parts shine brighter than before. The inner Aphrodite, the goddess of love and beauty who compels women to create, just might take center stage!
You may find grief arises for what could have been if only you’d stayed close to yourself all along. You grieve wasted time, energy, and emotions. All the things left undone. But grief is the necessary darkness that makes the light that much brighter. Honor the abandoned parts of yourself and devote time now to giving them what they need first before others.
Finding the edge of your aura is a good start to reclaiming your true self. Why not take a few moments now to start with the following reflection:
Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and imagine your vibrant energy flowing back to your body from people and places in the past, the present, and the future. With your hand on your heart say aloud: I am here, I am here, I am here.
Say hello to yourself and start the deeper conversation by asking what you need right now to start feeling and living like your true self.
The first answer might be sarcastic, angry — even vengeful. Be patient. Ask again.
Ask until a ring of truth ripples through your body. You’ll know it when you hear it. Then act on it as best you can. Prove to intuition you are ready to receive. Once acknowledged, intuition continues to guide you away from over-giving toward balance and self-esteem. Back to your sense of divinity within.
I’m known as the Grinch in my family. This morning I intended to write politely about my disdain for Christmas. To implore others to turn away from consumption and the pressure to meet expectations toward something spiritual. The Solstice. The old ways. Back to meaning and light. That’s what I thought. Instead, serendipity led me to this photo while looking for a visual for that other story.
My family and I watched this sunset from the deck of Captain Nancy’s house near Kailua-Kona, Hawaii. Nancy was a stranger until early that morning when we boarded her boat to search for dolphins. Before long, we encountered a large pod, which graciously allowed us to join them. Some of them stopped to wait for us when our younger daughter fell behind. Others turned to look us in the eye from just a few feet away. It was a magical morning.
We felt fortunate to spend time in the presence of those creatures, transformed even. While heading back to shore, our fortune continued when Captain Nancy invited us to Easter Sunday dinner with her family and friends that evening.
We were the only non-residents at the gathering. The view from Nancy’s hillside house was new to us, and someone joked that maybe we would get lucky and see the green flash. Our new acquaintances had never seen it but certainly knew all about it. They explained the elusive phenomenon that happens at sunrise or sunset when the conditions are just right, requiring clear air and an unobstructed view of the horizon.
Swimming with the dolphins that morning had felt like a miracle, so it was hard to conceive of experiencing another once in a lifetime if you’re lucky kind of event. But hey, why not watch just in case?
As evening closed in, the locals watching with us turned to other things – beautiful sunsets are their norm – leaving my family of four leaning expectantly against the deck rail. I grew tired of taking pictures and stopped at this point seen above. If it was going to happen, I wanted nothing between me and the sky.
Three minutes, maybe four passed. The sun slid silently into the water in a blaze of orange that obliterated the horizon. Sky and water were one, and then…pop! A shot of neon green exploded as the last of the semi-circle sun changed color and descended.
We gasped in unison, making heads turn.
The green flash! We saw it!
Awestruck and giddy, we laughed and cried as the other dinner guests moaned in disbelief and disappointment. How did we miss it? I don’t believe it!
How fitting it was to see a miraculous flash of light on a day celebrated for rebirth. And, how perfect it is to find it again today as I reflect on the Solstice, the return of the light, amid what feels like a soul-sucking commercialized marathon in the next few weeks.
I close my eyes now, recalling the brief moment that wrapped us in a miracle. An alchemical combustion of light, perspective, and visibility transformed heaven and earth into something more.
I’m reminded that how I frame this time of year – as a hyped-up nuisance or a celebration of possibility – is a choice.
I won’t turn away from the possibility, won’t assume I know what I’m seeing. I’ll keep my eyes open like a novice, expecting the impossible because why not?
More than once, the universe has shown me how it conspires for my greater good. It’s all a matter of perspective, the light of my own heart, and the willingness to look beyond myself.
And while I took a break from my desk to ponder, the universe responded immediately to test my budding change in attitude.
My daughters pulled up to the house with a Christmas tree on the roof of the car. Half the size we usually get in our annual trek to find a tree as a family, but perfectly shaped. They had no idea my Grinch self was in full force this morning, dreading the tree shopping logistical nightmare and subsequent fight to get help decorating the house.
I laughed at the sight of it – my vision unobstructed – and felt the energy shift in and around me that comes when divinity shows its hand.
Isn’t it cute? We’ll do all the decorating Mom. We’ll take care of everything!
With my inner Grinch out of the way, I think I can look for the everyday moments of transformation in those I love, the people I serve, and within my heart and mind. Heaven and earth come together, and little miracles abound. That is what makes life magical, no matter the season.
Our backyard swing faced the eastern horizon drawn by a tree-lined creek two miles away. It was my favorite place to be alone as a kid. I pumped my arms furiously to gain height, pointing my toes up to the ever-changing Kansas sky, then swooping past wide-open fields where incessant wind tossed tumbleweeds and made dirt devils dance. I tried hard not to let my feet touch the ground as I arced between heaven and earth.
On the swing, nature felt close. I sensed some bigger mystery driving it and talked to it out loud, whatever “it” was.
Questions came to me that my Catholic upbringing couldn’t answer. Armed with exceptional reading skills and a library card, I turned to books for more insight by third grade. Cross-cultural myths and pictures of ancient times ruled by powerful deities felt familiar to me. Stories of past- lives and reincarnation, healers and shamans, and extra-sensory perception filled in the gaps.
Back then, being a psychic consultant was not a goal. I yearned to write and fancied myself a novelist and an investigative reporter. I naturally looked for connections between people and things. I felt an urgency to share, to tell stories.
Now, as on the swing long ago, I get to bridge heaven and earth when others come to me with questions. My favorite one is this:
How did you know you are psychic?
For a long time, I didn’t.
My hidden ability showed itself when I hit a messy emotional bottom at 25. Being sensitive and not understanding it is what got me there. I see it all the time in others— empathic and psychic ability masquerading as depression, addiction, and illness.
So, when someone asks that question, it reveals a deeper, more important one.
Am I psychic too?
Most of my clients are spiritual seekers. They feel they are intuitive but lack the confidence to own it. They’re soul-sick. Longing for connection and meaning but not sure how to find it. It’s a sure bet that reading them will be fun, even if their life is challenging right now.
Images and answers come quickly to me with these people. Energy rises in big waves. Chills run through my body, or I yawn suddenly to help it release.
They feel the energy move too. Tears come out of nowhere. Suddenly they understand the thing that made no sense.
I love it when a client sees or knows more than me. They have stories that begin, “You’ll probably think this is crazy…”
Nope. Not at all. The weirder, the better, I always say.
Believe it’s possible
For years I thought that only “special” people could tune into greater awareness. There are some incredibly gifted people out there, seemingly from birth. Often, they are psychically sensitive and didn’t get it drummed out of them during childhood, like so many of us. Their culture or family traditions included Spirit in daily life. They were allowed to stay connected.
When other “gifted” people told me that I could do what they do, I started to believe it. I put my faith in what they saw until I experienced it more for myself.
Faith gave me the confidence that my power is in me and spurred the curiosity to learn how to use it.
Now, I understand how intuition works for me. I confidently tap into my clairvoyance — a fancy word for seeing Spirit and energy. I empathically sense physical pain or emotions. I translate energy into color, symbols, or images that have meaning. Answers, like a thought but in another’s voice, come from my client’s higher self or from their loved ones who’ve passed away.
My intention is to be the mirror for others. To reflect who I see – a timeless being having a physical experience to learn.
I don’t know anything ahead of time about the people I read. When a new client tells me their name, that’s all I need. Birth names are the spiritual bar code stamp that lets me identify others. With my eyes closed, information and images unfurl, whether they’re sitting in front of me or thousands of miles away.
Being seen like this is validating. It’s an invitation to faith that they are something more than meets the eye.
Faith was my first step. Having faith that I am part of this universal consciousness just by being alive.
Ask. Respond. Repeat.
Faith gave me the push to start learning about how I could tap into my psychic ability for me, but I was full of doubt. I started thinking about when and how I naturally felt connected. What prompted it? What did I do? And how could I recreate it for my practical use?
I asked my intuition to speak; I requested guidance without making assumptions. Then I started paying closer attention to my thoughts and environment to see what kind of feedback I was getting.
I tuned into my body for physical clues, like a gut feeling, chills, or a racing heart. I asked myself simple yes or no questions and followed through to see where it took me. I checked inside when planning my days for the best way to “go with the flow.” Ease is a great indicator. It’s where psychic guidance naturally wants to go.
The more I paid attention and took action, the more I trusted what I saw, heard, and felt. My relationship with the language of my higher self and consciousness grew over time. The more I communicated with it, the stronger it became.
When it comes to reading others, I trust what I receive, even if I don’t understand it. I’m tapping into the field of consciousness full of archetypes, symbols, and metaphors.
Sometimes I’m the one that says, “this might sound crazy,” and commence with what makes no sense to me. My client usually gets it.
It’s not about me.
Early on during my spiritual training, being smug or overly enthusiastic about picking up on things others didn’t was sometimes a problem. Like an annoying kid showing off a new toy.
Being psychic is not a party trick. Nor is it a reason to be a know-it-all or to offer unsolicited advice. (Ok, I still struggle with the unsolicited advice bit when I see people suffering.)
When insights and inspiration come through for others, it’s not about me. It’s about the joined conversation drawing from shared wisdom. I say hello to someone’s Spirit and ask them on that level what it is they need to know. The answer is in the questioner, like a book open for me to read.
Being humble keeps me in kindergarten — curious and open. The universe responds to that.
Be an everyday psychic.
Being psychic makes daily life easier. It helps avoid obstacles, delays and mistakes. How often do you regret not trusting your gut?
It’s great for decision-making. Intuition structures my day with the best timing to make calls or schedule appointments. Experience shows that my logical mind is not nearly as imaginative as universal consciousness when problem-solving. Answers come in creative ways.
I plan trips by sensing into the energy of a place to “try it on.” Is it a good fit?
When my body hurts, I speak to the pain and the energy it holds, and find relief. I call on Spirit for guidance through my tarot cards when upset or overthinking things.
Awareness puts us in flow – in the zone, in the pocket – where creative energy hums through us and resistance falls away. Why struggle day to day?
I’m psychic, but I’m not unique. Being psychic is a connection to a universal oneness available to everyone. It’s there for you, too.
This well loved book has been my guide for 20 years. The cover is no longer attached, pages are falling out. It’s dog-eared and dirty from my hands flipping pages thousands of times.
Today, I broke down and ordered a new one for the next 20 years. But I’m still keeping this one.
Every new year’s eve I take time to meditate on what’s passed, and where I want to go. Then I shuffle and draw 10 cards following the Whole Person Spread developed by Angeles Arrien as described in the book. It’s one of my best tools for letting intuition do long term planning for personal growth.
Some years look scary; others glorious. But as I check back in over the ensuing months when I’m in need of big picture direction, I see how the lessons and opportunities I laid out before me have come to fruition.
I’m just about to read my 2020 spread and consider how things played out in all the aspects of life covered in my cards. I did a sneak peak reminder just a few weeks ago to check the number 10 card position. This one portends the natural expression of what wants to come through, or what needs to be released
It’s the Nine of Wands-Strength.
I wrote on my list of cards I keep tucked in my monthly planner: “A completion number. Trust my inner and outer strength.”
Given the year we’ve just had, I think I nailed it.
Intuition leads me down interesting paths to inspiration and guidance when I’m most in need, which often shows up in a book. The Secret of The Alchemist is an amazing book about another book, The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo, that had a profound impact on me 25 years ago and shaped my spirituality and world view.
I don’t remember now how I recently stumbled upon Colm Holland and his new book The Secret of The Alchemist, but it all started when the word alchemy came to me in my morning writing. As often happens, a word will leap out at me and I sense a kind of “freeze frame” moment that compels me to look it up in the dictionary. What does it really mean? What do I think it means? Where did the word come from? The usual word nerd questions.
What I found struck a long, deep chord in me. One word summed up everything I love, try to learn, and try to teach through my work and writing.
“The process of taking something ordinary and turning it into something extraordinary, sometimes in a way that can’t be explained.”
Total goosebumps. And then I found this book, written by the man who was instrumental in the English version publication of The Alchemist, which has sold more than any book worldwide until recently, when it was bumped by J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone – another book about alchemy.
The Alchemist is a simple but powerful allegory about following your dreams, finding your treasure, and learning the language of the Soul. I’ve read it many times over the years, and passed the book on to family and friends as a must read.
The Secret of the Alchemist takes a deep dive into ancient alchemy and it’s true meaning, and what it means for us all. It is a wonderful guidebook to the magic hidden in plain sight all along and shows how we can transform our ordinary lives into something extraordinary.
I’m grateful to find this book and Colm Holland, who’s words jump off the page with a sincerity and a commitment to Love and transformation that I find so healing right now.
If you feel you can’t do anything right now, do this. We can’t solve this craziness or feel better from a place of fear. Let’s use our super-power of sensitivity to shift the energy now.
One thing I know for sure is that our inner world is reflected in the outer world. Obviously, we are out of balance. The only way back to balance is to find our center – our stronger, clearer Self who knows the way.We can impact the energy of the world just as much as we are being impacted by it right now.
This isn’t “woo-woo” bullshit or being grandiose. Just like a social media post going viral worldwide, we can lock onto a new reality together, blow it up, and make it go viral in the collective conscience, the universal energy field that connects us all. Center. Send. Share.
To help I’m giving away my book as a quick read and reminder of your power, how to ground, and what to do to feel better now. PM if you’d like one. Give it to any other empathic, sensitive, depressed, anxious person you know. Let’s turn this around.
I was just out running another frantic errand trying to solve someone else’s problem and got stuck at a red light behind a Toyota minivan with a creepy cartoon sticker in the window proclaiming Existence is Pain.
It sure the hell is, was my first thought. And I went into a five second pity party about the way life has been coming at me the last few weeks. Then I got pissed. Yes, life is painful, but that’s not all there is. Move on.
It’s been a doozy of a Mercury Retrograde, so I’m calling it out right here to nip it in the bud. I’m not falling into victim mode and blaming the stars for my recent troubles – stressful miscommunication, DMV paperwork issues, broken tech – just for starters. Rather, I’m writing to remind myself that these larger energies in play are real. Given that my power lies in being sensitive to energy, I can’t drop the ball on being diligent as to how I’m impacted by the world, and Universe, around me. I have an obligation to myself and others to pay attention, and use what prevails in a positive, hopeful, or productive way.
Usually I’m not bothered by Mercury retrograde, but I am affected by people close to me and if they happen to be experiencing the poster child version of a Mercury retrograde nightmare, well, then I kind of go down the tubes too. That is until I wake up and notice what’s actually theirs (emotions, energy, experience) is not mine. And, I don’t help one bit by joining them in the story that everything is falling apart or going wrong.
Mercury, which is fact my ruling planet as a Gemini, is retrograde until March 10. But, I’m ready for things to turn more positively right NOW despite its trajectory.
Here’s what I’m going to do: Slow down. Stop RE-acting. Although it is the time for “re-” words, like review, revise, remember, redecorate, or reconsider, REACTING just digs me deeper into trouble. When things blow up, I’ll give it an hour, a day – then decide a course of action. Reacting usually comes from a place of anger, fear or some other useless place. Deep breaths, back to center and a clear mind. That’s my goal.
Humor is good too. Sometimes the only thing you can do is laugh when yet another crazy “bad” thing happens out of the blue. Swearing is good too. My hubby and I have been doing lots of that lately, because it makes us laugh.
What are you doing to make the most of things falling apart? Have you found some silver linings?
The first of new intentions complete, with a little help from this magical moon I think!
Several months ago I lost a Barnes and Noble gift card my mom-in-law gave me. I’d found it when we were packing up her house last summer to move her nearer to us, and I checked it to see if it was still “good.” Lo and behold, it had over $60 credit on it. I was thrilled when she told me to keep it, because who doesn’t love free books?
I tucked it in my wallet to save for leisurely trip to the bookstore. Fortunately, we have a brick and mortar Barnes and Noble not far from our home. I hoped to make it an outing with my daughter or mom to walk lazily down aisles reading titles.
So, when the day came to go shopping, my coveted plastic gift was no where to be found. I searched all my bags, and quizzed my daughter. “Did I give it to you to use?” Of course, she hadn’t seen it.
I was disappointed, and then angry at my carelessness. Where did it go? How could I lose it? Though it is not a big deal in the scheme of things, it bothered me and continued to over the months, prompting me to search for it several times. I just wanted those books!
And, just now I reached into my tote bag to pull out my calendar and with it came the gift card, sitting right on top as if I put it there yesterday. It felt like Christmas all over again!
Earlier this week I started my annual planning and intention setting. I wrote a list of goals and intentions both big and small to fill up my year. One of them that unexpectedly popped out of my pen onto the paper was this:
Funny, now that I turn back to my planner to quote myself I find my intention isn’t there. I distinctly recall writing it. As I look at the bright full moon descending outside my window I can only laugh. I feel the tug of the in between place where reality blurs, the place I revere and strive to stay connected to.
I woke early this morning but stepped into a dream of wishing and receiving. I’m content, filled up as I gaze at black trees silhouetted against a sapphire sky. Luna shines bright and suddenly, as happens on a powerful moon when I give her my attention, there are three moons out my window. Her beauty refracts and I see a reflection on either side of her. I don’t know why this happens. No matter where I turn my head, or what window I look through, the images don’t disappear. I witness a trinity of lunar power.
I’m grateful for these moments of deep connection and magic. When the unexplained happens, and mystery answers my prayers. It’s welcome as I shift into this new life of more time and space since the girls are so far away at school. The house, and my energy field, feel empty and wide open. I intend to fill it up with things I love almost as much as them so their absence doesn’t pain me.
In the year since publishing Down and Back, I’ve been pulled to focus on family and the needs of others by facing new and unexpected challenges – illness, death, moves – all of which pulled me further from my own center and my love of writing.
In the midst of taking care of others, I wished for more downtime to follow my urge to write. As autumn arrived, I told myself I must get back to writing, promising myself I would spend time at my desk and listen to the words that had started bubbling up again.
Apparently, I didn’t act fast enough. In October I had a freak accident at home. I dropped a food processor blade on the top of my foot. It hit perfectly between two thick leather straps on my sandal, severing the main tendon.
After a hasty surgery, I was given orders. No walking for six weeks. None. No weight on the foot at all.
Once the initial disbelief wore off, (followed by a mini pity-party) I found my center long enough to ask “What can I learn from this?”
Now at five weeks post-surgery, the lessons have been enormous. The first being the reminder that when my Spirit is prompting me in a direction through my intuition and desire the sooner I listen, the better. Spirit moves faster than the body, and it can be hard to keep up. But I will unwittingly force myself into situations that urge me in the right direction. At times it takes a lot to get my attention.
I’ve been called for some time to be still, to listen more closely to what my heart wants, and to get back into my creative flow that is in alignment with consciousness. Being busy, avoiding my feelings, putting others needs and schedules first is deeply engrained in me. Stopping on my own volition was too slow in coming. My wiser self gave me one option.
Sit down! Put your feet up. Read. Write. Pay attention. Let go of all the unimportant things. Let others take care of themselves.
That blade out of nowhere was a gift. It’s allowed me to go deeper into practicing what I preach and find new levels of awareness about my connection to my Spirit and others. Readings with clients are deeper and richer. The right people come to me to reflect even more of who I am and what I need now. I’m writing again and finding enthusiasm in making connections that I plan to share with others in a new way.
So, the next time I find myself wishing, I’ll be careful and make it a conscious decision to move toward what I want. No procrastinating. I don’t want Spirit getting too creative on me again to get my attention.
Creative, empathic, sensitive folks are the light-bearers of the world when they align with the immense power of consciousness that wants to flow through them. When this power isn’t recognized or you step out of flow, it can turn on you. The blessing becomes the curse as you tumble into overwhelm, anxiety, depression, and disconnection from your Self – taking on more than is really yours energetically and emotionally, and missing the messages trying to guide you.
Owning and redirecting your psychic sensitivity is just one of the tools I share in Down and Back to help you discover the wisdom hiding in the darkness of depression. I’m so excited to launch my book into the world – it’s one expression of creative consciousness that has been pushing on me for years as a life-long dream to be an author.
Down and Back is a guide to a new kind of success for the depressed, bored, and disenchanted. It will help you move your life in a fortunate direction as you change your perspective of yourself, and the world. It’s for anyone who knows what they want to do but never seem to do it. There’s a reason you don’t- you’ve forgotten who you really are!
You can find the E-book version below and check out more of the content to see how you can be happier with the life you have while you create a life you love. Paperback sales are available now too!!