Equinox

Fall camelia 2017I welcome nature’s lesson in balance today as the equinox makes equal length of dark and light.

Of late, I wake before the alarm, feeling nervous and restless. My daughter has been sick again for weeks with no improvement. As one symptom abates, another rises to take its place. I’m worried, and feel helpless as I don’t know what to do next to help her heal. Her body is overcome with an illness I can’t control, and the quality of her life is on the line.

At the same, the Earth’s body has been ravaged by dis-ease. The forests burn, the ground shakes and rearranges itself, and the oceans give rise to monster storms. As one abates, another rises to take its place. There is so much unrest.

One morning, before rising, I ask prayerfully, how in the midst of all of this do I find my equanimity?

An image comes to me of Earth from a thousand miles up. The clouds are moving softly, and the oceans’ currents flow as they should. Despite the chaos on the surface we experience up close, this celestial body we call home hangs solid and sure, anchored to its place in the universe by forces we cannot see. It’s the pull of something larger than itself that keeps it orbiting, and its core that keeps it spinning and balanced at the poles.

Later I take my coffee outside to stand barefoot on the grass and let the chill air wake me. Autumn calls as I feel the tug of the Earth’s center slow my heart – let go, let go, let go.

Finding balance starts with the tiniest bit of willingness and a shift in awareness. Nature never fails to answer my prayers. With new eyes, I see the camellia bushes lining the fence, still glossy and green, but dusted with cobwebs and dried leaves. To my surprise, the branches are full of pale buds – a sign of the vivid pink blossoms that grow, odd and beautiful, every winter.

Aren’t they early? Should they be growing this soon? More questions that don’t need to be answered. Their presence is enough. My heart lightens with this reminder that in times that require letting go in life, something brilliant and unexpected can show up, and will, if I keep my eyes open and my feet on the ground.

 

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