Now You See It…

Now you don’t. It’s all part of the plan.

 

 

I stood in front of the bathroom mirror putting on my favorite necklace, and heard the little voice way in the back of my mind.

“Don’t wear that.”

I resisted. “It’s fine. It’s going to be a fun day; I want to feel pretty.”

Later in the airport bathroom mirror, I noticed my necklace and felt happy as I always do seeing the golden owl pendant made from an old Greek coin, a gift from a friend who traveled there years ago, hanging from a gold chain my husband gave me.

But when I looked in the bathroom mirror at our vacation cottage a few hours later, it was gone. I never felt a thing. I was devastated but not really surprised.

My husband quickly launched a search, but I told him not to bother.

I knew it was gone for good.

I kick myself when I don’t listen to my intuition. Usually, when I blow it off, the stakes are pretty low, but this was a hard one. That necklace symbolizes much of what is important to me—connection, wisdom, Nature—and I wear it to amplify what I value.

Little waves of sadness wash over me as I think about it. Sadness and the discomfort of hypocrisy along with it.

I always talk and teach about trusting intuition, and here I am, ignoring it when it gives me damn good advice. I think that’s the lesson. If I’m going to trust, then trust. Be all in. 

It’s like a friend who gives good advice, they eventually stop offering if you don’t take it. I don’t want my intuition to stop talking to me.

So why is it, after decades of learning to connect to and trust my intuition, do I occasionally insist on ignoring it?

Because I’m human, with an intact ego, and despite my devotion to a spiritual life, I am still in a physical body that requires challenges of a physical nature. The Universe gives me tests to make sure I’m still awake, not taking things for granted. After all, that’s the point of life as I see it—to learn and grow so I can do better in the next one.

Trusting my intuition is a practice, no matter how many years I’ve been at it. My ego wants what it wants, like everyone. But I gain a great deal by listening to my intuition, which makes life much easier.

Intuition is knowing without knowing how I know; it comes from hearing, sensing, and seeing information too. It’s a truth that lands in my body in an unmistakable wave that leaves no room for doubt, even if I am afraid.

It’s what makes me hit the brakes on the freeway just before someone cuts me off or before passing a hidden highway patrol radar gun. It shows me the best route or order to do my errands for a smooth day. It urges me to open doors, literally and figuratively, that wind up expanding my world in ways I didn’t imagine. To meet the right people, be in the right place, to say yes or no to the right things – for me.

So losing my favorite necklace knocked me back and reminded me not to get too uppity. My intuition always has my best interest at heart. I cannot forget that, even when the stakes are small.

I haven’t always known this.

Nearly 30 years ago, I stood in the spirituality section of our then-new Barnes and Noble, looking for answers to erase my depression and longing. As I scanned the shelves, a slender purple book fell to the floor – The Alchemist: A Fable about Following Your Dream by Paulo Coelho.

Obviously, I had to buy it.

In the book, a young man named Santiago unknowingly sets out on a hero’s journey searching for treasure. But to find it, he must learn to listen to “the language of the soul” – intuition. Because he listens, his journey takes wild and wonderful turns, and he discovers much more than the gold of his dreams.

This potent little fable rang some distantly familiar bell within my psyche on first reading and gave me hope. Every reading since then added comprehension, saturating me with respect and a deeper understanding of the power of intuition.

Santiago’s story is my story, and everyone’s, as the 150 million copies sold worldwide attest.

Ironically, Coelho’s masterpiece flopped in his native Brazil, but his intuition told him to try again. He did, and the book was picked up by a HarperCollins editor in Australia who trusted his intuition and risked a large printing in English. (A great story for another day.)

***

I took a break from writing this piece to contemplate an ending and get dressed for the day. Back in my bedroom, I grabbed a jewelry case looking for a silver necklace with a moonstone pendant and stood once more in front of the bathroom mirror.

I flipped up the lid, revealing a small see-through pouch holding assorted gold jewelry. I reached to move it out of the way and burst out laughing.

 My beloved owl necklace was in the pouch, just where it should be.

I immediately questioned my memory. Did I really put it on in the first place? Did I actually see it in the mirror at SFO?

 Logic demanded answers. But my laughter helped let them go. Who am I to question?

When I first sat down this morning to write this story, I thought it was about a hard lesson in trusting my intuition and staying true to it or paying the price when I let my ego get in the way. I felt humble and ready to recommit to trusting my inner voice because that is the link between me and the Divine.

But now the ending is even better. In true cosmic humor fashion, what I want appears the minute I get right within myself. I am rewarded for faithfully accepting this power that works through me and for me.

The gold I seek is with me at the beginning. It’s the journey of awareness and acceptance that reveals it in the end.

Something much bigger than me is at play today and every day if I choose to notice. I can step back from my problems and into the grander scheme, sense the power and presence, and feel that deeply rooted feeling that all is well.

I feel reassured and remember what The Alchemist says :

“…when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it.”

I humbly accept the mystery and the magic of a miraculous return. It’s what makes life worth living. Who doesn’t want a magical life?

Now my necklace shines even brighter with meaning to wrap myself in when I wear it—a tangible bit of magic to help me on my journey.