I’m reading The Goddesses in Everywoman again after many years. It’s a comforting reminder that powerful archetypes — unconscious inner forces — play out in our lives to greater degrees at different times. I’m not stuck in this role of patterns and habits. The goddess Athena, logical and self-assured, has not left me. It’s just that now Demeter, the great mother driven to nurture and sustain, dominates my psyche after supporting my daughter’s four year fight with chronic illness.
When you’re defined by what you give, there’s not much incentive to receive. The edges of your desires, needs, and goals disappear in doing for others. You lose the sense of your true self. Do you remember who she is?
As a mother and caregiver, I often dilute my energy and thus my sense of self because I’m empathic and highly intuitive. Sensitivity is a curse when it leads to over-giving, but a powerful gift when you discover its potential to create a life you love.
I’ve consciously cultivated this power for over 30 years, and still I stumble. I wound up on the ground often in recent years, but each time intuitive grace urged me to find my edges to feel empowered and alive again.
It takes time to find your edges after giving so much for so long. When you do, they are frayed and tattered, appearing beyond repair. But pulling back the folds to examine them closer, it’s clear what needs to be cut; what can be mended, reinforced, and extended — adorned even — so some parts shine brighter than before. The inner Aphrodite, the goddess of love and beauty who compels women to create, just might take center stage!
You may find grief arises for what could have been if only you’d stayed close to yourself all along. You grieve wasted time, energy, and emotions. All the things left undone. But grief is the necessary darkness that makes the light that much brighter. Honor the abandoned parts of yourself and devote time now to giving them what they need first before others.
Finding the edge of your aura is a good start to reclaiming your true self. Why not take a few moments now to start with the following reflection:
Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and imagine your vibrant energy flowing back to your body from people and places in the past, the present, and the future. With your hand on your heart say aloud: I am here, I am here, I am here.
Say hello to yourself and start the deeper conversation by asking what you need right now to start feeling and living like your true self.
The first answer might be sarcastic, angry — even vengeful. Be patient. Ask again.
Ask until a ring of truth ripples through your body. You’ll know it when you hear it. Then act on it as best you can. Prove to intuition you are ready to receive. Once acknowledged, intuition continues to guide you away from over-giving toward balance and self-esteem. Back to your sense of divinity within.
I’m known as the Grinch in my family. This morning I intended to write politely about my disdain for Christmas. To implore others to turn away from consumption and the pressure to meet expectations toward something spiritual. The Solstice. The old ways. Back to meaning and light. That’s what I thought. Instead, serendipity led me to this photo while looking for a visual for that other story.
My family and I watched this sunset from the deck of Captain Nancy’s house near Kailua-Kona, Hawaii. Nancy was a stranger until early that morning when we boarded her boat to search for dolphins. Before long, we encountered a large pod, which graciously allowed us to join them. Some of them stopped to wait for us when our younger daughter fell behind. Others turned to look us in the eye from just a few feet away. It was a magical morning.
We felt fortunate to spend time in the presence of those creatures, transformed even. While heading back to shore, our fortune continued when Captain Nancy invited us to Easter Sunday dinner with her family and friends that evening.
We were the only non-residents at the gathering. The view from Nancy’s hillside house was new to us, and someone joked that maybe we would get lucky and see the green flash. Our new acquaintances had never seen it but certainly knew all about it. They explained the elusive phenomenon that happens at sunrise or sunset when the conditions are just right, requiring clear air and an unobstructed view of the horizon.
Swimming with the dolphins that morning had felt like a miracle, so it was hard to conceive of experiencing another once in a lifetime if you’re lucky kind of event. But hey, why not watch just in case?
As evening closed in, the locals watching with us turned to other things – beautiful sunsets are their norm – leaving my family of four leaning expectantly against the deck rail. I grew tired of taking pictures and stopped at this point seen above. If it was going to happen, I wanted nothing between me and the sky.
Three minutes, maybe four passed. The sun slid silently into the water in a blaze of orange that obliterated the horizon. Sky and water were one, and then…pop! A shot of neon green exploded as the last of the semi-circle sun changed color and descended.
We gasped in unison, making heads turn.
The green flash! We saw it!
Awestruck and giddy, we laughed and cried as the other dinner guests moaned in disbelief and disappointment. How did we miss it? I don’t believe it!
How fitting it was to see a miraculous flash of light on a day celebrated for rebirth. And, how perfect it is to find it again today as I reflect on the Solstice, the return of the light, amid what feels like a soul-sucking commercialized marathon in the next few weeks.
I close my eyes now, recalling the brief moment that wrapped us in a miracle. An alchemical combustion of light, perspective, and visibility transformed heaven and earth into something more.
I’m reminded that how I frame this time of year – as a hyped-up nuisance or a celebration of possibility – is a choice.
I won’t turn away from the possibility, won’t assume I know what I’m seeing. I’ll keep my eyes open like a novice, expecting the impossible because why not?
More than once, the universe has shown me how it conspires for my greater good. It’s all a matter of perspective, the light of my own heart, and the willingness to look beyond myself.
And while I took a break from my desk to ponder, the universe responded immediately to test my budding change in attitude.
My daughters pulled up to the house with a Christmas tree on the roof of the car. Half the size we usually get in our annual trek to find a tree as a family, but perfectly shaped. They had no idea my Grinch self was in full force this morning, dreading the tree shopping logistical nightmare and subsequent fight to get help decorating the house.
I laughed at the sight of it – my vision unobstructed – and felt the energy shift in and around me that comes when divinity shows its hand.
Isn’t it cute? We’ll do all the decorating Mom. We’ll take care of everything!
With my inner Grinch out of the way, I think I can look for the everyday moments of transformation in those I love, the people I serve, and within my heart and mind. Heaven and earth come together, and little miracles abound. That is what makes life magical, no matter the season.
Our backyard swing faced the eastern horizon drawn by a tree-lined creek two miles away. It was my favorite place to be alone as a kid. I pumped my arms furiously to gain height, pointing my toes up to the ever-changing Kansas sky, then swooping past wide-open fields where incessant wind tossed tumbleweeds and made dirt devils dance. I tried hard not to let my feet touch the ground as I arced between heaven and earth.
On the swing, nature felt close. I sensed some bigger mystery driving it and talked to it out loud, whatever “it” was.
Questions came to me that my Catholic upbringing couldn’t answer. Armed with exceptional reading skills and a library card, I turned to books for more insight by third grade. Cross-cultural myths and pictures of ancient times ruled by powerful deities felt familiar to me. Stories of past- lives and reincarnation, healers and shamans, and extra-sensory perception filled in the gaps.
Back then, being a psychic consultant was not a goal. I yearned to write and fancied myself a novelist and an investigative reporter. I naturally looked for connections between people and things. I felt an urgency to share, to tell stories.
Now, as on the swing long ago, I get to bridge heaven and earth when others come to me with questions. My favorite one is this:
How did you know you are psychic?
For a long time, I didn’t.
My hidden ability showed itself when I hit a messy emotional bottom at 25. Being sensitive and not understanding it is what got me there. I see it all the time in others— empathic and psychic ability masquerading as depression, addiction, and illness.
So, when someone asks that question, it reveals a deeper, more important one.
Am I psychic too?
Most of my clients are spiritual seekers. They feel they are intuitive but lack the confidence to own it. They’re soul-sick. Longing for connection and meaning but not sure how to find it. It’s a sure bet that reading them will be fun, even if their life is challenging right now.
Images and answers come quickly to me with these people. Energy rises in big waves. Chills run through my body, or I yawn suddenly to help it release.
They feel the energy move too. Tears come out of nowhere. Suddenly they understand the thing that made no sense.
I love it when a client sees or knows more than me. They have stories that begin, “You’ll probably think this is crazy…”
Nope. Not at all. The weirder, the better, I always say.
Believe it’s possible
For years I thought that only “special” people could tune into greater awareness. There are some incredibly gifted people out there, seemingly from birth. Often, they are psychically sensitive and didn’t get it drummed out of them during childhood, like so many of us. Their culture or family traditions included Spirit in daily life. They were allowed to stay connected.
When other “gifted” people told me that I could do what they do, I started to believe it. I put my faith in what they saw until I experienced it more for myself.
Faith gave me the confidence that my power is in me and spurred the curiosity to learn how to use it.
Now, I understand how intuition works for me. I confidently tap into my clairvoyance — a fancy word for seeing Spirit and energy. I empathically sense physical pain or emotions. I translate energy into color, symbols, or images that have meaning. Answers, like a thought but in another’s voice, come from my client’s higher self or from their loved ones who’ve passed away.
My intention is to be the mirror for others. To reflect who I see – a timeless being having a physical experience to learn.
I don’t know anything ahead of time about the people I read. When a new client tells me their name, that’s all I need. Birth names are the spiritual bar code stamp that lets me identify others. With my eyes closed, information and images unfurl, whether they’re sitting in front of me or thousands of miles away.
Being seen like this is validating. It’s an invitation to faith that they are something more than meets the eye.
Faith was my first step. Having faith that I am part of this universal consciousness just by being alive.
Ask. Respond. Repeat.
Faith gave me the push to start learning about how I could tap into my psychic ability for me, but I was full of doubt. I started thinking about when and how I naturally felt connected. What prompted it? What did I do? And how could I recreate it for my practical use?
I asked my intuition to speak; I requested guidance without making assumptions. Then I started paying closer attention to my thoughts and environment to see what kind of feedback I was getting.
I tuned into my body for physical clues, like a gut feeling, chills, or a racing heart. I asked myself simple yes or no questions and followed through to see where it took me. I checked inside when planning my days for the best way to “go with the flow.” Ease is a great indicator. It’s where psychic guidance naturally wants to go.
The more I paid attention and took action, the more I trusted what I saw, heard, and felt. My relationship with the language of my higher self and consciousness grew over time. The more I communicated with it, the stronger it became.
When it comes to reading others, I trust what I receive, even if I don’t understand it. I’m tapping into the field of consciousness full of archetypes, symbols, and metaphors.
Sometimes I’m the one that says, “this might sound crazy,” and commence with what makes no sense to me. My client usually gets it.
It’s not about me.
Early on during my spiritual training, being smug or overly enthusiastic about picking up on things others didn’t was sometimes a problem. Like an annoying kid showing off a new toy.
Being psychic is not a party trick. Nor is it a reason to be a know-it-all or to offer unsolicited advice. (Ok, I still struggle with the unsolicited advice bit when I see people suffering.)
When insights and inspiration come through for others, it’s not about me. It’s about the joined conversation drawing from shared wisdom. I say hello to someone’s Spirit and ask them on that level what it is they need to know. The answer is in the questioner, like a book open for me to read.
Being humble keeps me in kindergarten — curious and open. The universe responds to that.
Be an everyday psychic.
Being psychic makes daily life easier. It helps avoid obstacles, delays and mistakes. How often do you regret not trusting your gut?
It’s great for decision-making. Intuition structures my day with the best timing to make calls or schedule appointments. Experience shows that my logical mind is not nearly as imaginative as universal consciousness when problem-solving. Answers come in creative ways.
I plan trips by sensing into the energy of a place to “try it on.” Is it a good fit?
When my body hurts, I speak to the pain and the energy it holds, and find relief. I call on Spirit for guidance through my tarot cards when upset or overthinking things.
Awareness puts us in flow – in the zone, in the pocket – where creative energy hums through us and resistance falls away. Why struggle day to day?
I’m psychic, but I’m not unique. Being psychic is a connection to a universal oneness available to everyone. It’s there for you, too.
This well loved book has been my guide for 20 years. The cover is no longer attached, pages are falling out. It’s dog-eared and dirty from my hands flipping pages thousands of times.
Today, I broke down and ordered a new one for the next 20 years. But I’m still keeping this one.
Every new year’s eve I take time to meditate on what’s passed, and where I want to go. Then I shuffle and draw 10 cards following the Whole Person Spread developed by Angeles Arrien as described in the book. It’s one of my best tools for letting intuition do long term planning for personal growth.
Some years look scary; others glorious. But as I check back in over the ensuing months when I’m in need of big picture direction, I see how the lessons and opportunities I laid out before me have come to fruition.
I’m just about to read my 2020 spread and consider how things played out in all the aspects of life covered in my cards. I did a sneak peak reminder just a few weeks ago to check the number 10 card position. This one portends the natural expression of what wants to come through, or what needs to be released
It’s the Nine of Wands-Strength.
I wrote on my list of cards I keep tucked in my monthly planner: “A completion number. Trust my inner and outer strength.”
Given the year we’ve just had, I think I nailed it.
Intuition leads me down interesting paths to inspiration and guidance when I’m most in need, which often shows up in a book. The Secret of The Alchemist is an amazing book about another book, The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo, that had a profound impact on me 25 years ago and shaped my spirituality and world view.
I don’t remember now how I recently stumbled upon Colm Holland and his new book The Secret of The Alchemist, but it all started when the word alchemy came to me in my morning writing. As often happens, a word will leap out at me and I sense a kind of “freeze frame” moment that compels me to look it up in the dictionary. What does it really mean? What do I think it means? Where did the word come from? The usual word nerd questions.
What I found struck a long, deep chord in me. One word summed up everything I love, try to learn, and try to teach through my work and writing.
“The process of taking something ordinary and turning it into something extraordinary, sometimes in a way that can’t be explained.”
Total goosebumps. And then I found this book, written by the man who was instrumental in the English version publication of The Alchemist, which has sold more than any book worldwide until recently, when it was bumped by J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone – another book about alchemy.
The Alchemist is a simple but powerful allegory about following your dreams, finding your treasure, and learning the language of the Soul. I’ve read it many times over the years, and passed the book on to family and friends as a must read.
The Secret of the Alchemist takes a deep dive into ancient alchemy and it’s true meaning, and what it means for us all. It is a wonderful guidebook to the magic hidden in plain sight all along and shows how we can transform our ordinary lives into something extraordinary.
I’m grateful to find this book and Colm Holland, who’s words jump off the page with a sincerity and a commitment to Love and transformation that I find so healing right now.
Creative, empathic, sensitive folks are the light-bearers of the world when they align with the immense power of consciousness that wants to flow through them. When this power isn’t recognized or you step out of flow, it can turn on you. The blessing becomes the curse as you tumble into overwhelm, anxiety, depression, and disconnection from your Self – taking on more than is really yours energetically and emotionally, and missing the messages trying to guide you.
Owning and redirecting your psychic sensitivity is just one of the tools I share in Down and Back to help you discover the wisdom hiding in the darkness of depression. I’m so excited to launch my book into the world – it’s one expression of creative consciousness that has been pushing on me for years as a life-long dream to be an author.
Down and Back is a guide to a new kind of success for the depressed, bored, and disenchanted. It will help you move your life in a fortunate direction as you change your perspective of yourself, and the world. It’s for anyone who knows what they want to do but never seem to do it. There’s a reason you don’t- you’ve forgotten who you really are!
You can find the E-book version below and check out more of the content to see how you can be happier with the life you have while you create a life you love. Paperback sales are available now too!!
What better day to announce that my book will be published next month! Today is the day the veil between worlds is thinnest, and we can access the help and wisdom of Spirit, and the Crone. Though lost to most, today is the day to remember that the dark has something to offer us, and that as the landscape dies and we head into winter we have the promise of light and hope.
My book offers the same journey – to understand that the darkness that settles around us at times is rich with hope and change. It holds the power of your creative energy, empathy and psychic ability waiting to be channeled in a positive direction for your highest good.
Life is all about making choices – in every moment we face decisions about how to be, what to do, how to feel. Most stress comes down to daily decisions we have to make, and if you are alone in those decisions with no partner, support or input, the stress is worse. Decisions like “should I take this job,” “what contractor should I hire,” “How do I pay the bills this month,” “What’s best for my daughter right now?” keep us spinning in our minds with no resolution.
Procrastination and indecision arise when you lack the confidence to know “what’s right” and look to something outside of yourself to make you feel confident. But what if the answers have been there all along and you just didn’t know it?
The wisdom of your intuition is available to you at all times. It is the language of your Soul trying to point you in the right direction and line you up with the universal flow of divine energy.
Intuition is knowing without knowing how you know. It appears when the logical mind steps out of the way and information not readily or obviously available by means of the senses comes through. It is direct, immediate, clear, and certain.
It shows up in numerous ways – a flash of a thought, a chill up your spine, a vague gut feeling. It’s an inner voice, a song on the radio at just the right time, an out-of-the blue remark by a stranger. It may not be the sign you are looking for, but it is the sign you need.
Intuition cuts through indecision. At any point, on any matter, you can ask “what’s the best action?” By aligning with inner guidance, you stop indecision and worry and act more confidently.
Following intuition lets you live from a place of personal power, free of worrying about what other people think. With your own source of wisdom, you’re no longer dependent upon advice, affirmation, or approval from others. You live more authentically, free of helplessness, and emptiness. You stop feeling like a victim when you choose and take action instead of letting things happen. Intuition leads you from being quietly numb into a quietly extraordinary life. Life happens through you, not to you.
Welcome intuition into your life by acknowledging its existence – the more you accept that it is a part of you, that it works for you, the more it will show up.
It’s been a long winter for some, dampening dispositions along with our usually sunny California skies. Perhaps weathering life lately has been a challenge, and despite the clouds lifting all around, your mood isn’t. You’re not depressed exactly, but certainly not pumped. You’re busy in the daily routine, going through the motions. and not looking forward to anything. Perhaps you’re bored, wondering is this all there is? You sense that something is missing but you don’t know what it is.
The thing that’s missing is you– your sense of self, well-being, meaning, and purpose. It’s an easy trap to fall into. It means you’re not connected. This is living life on the surface, skimming along unaware and missing out on the deeper, richer parts of life. Here are a few tips to shake off the flatlined feeling of disconnection and plug into your life in a way that actually feels alive.
Connect with your Body
Most of us live in our heads, mulling over the do’s and don’ts of the day, planning work and family schedules weeks out, dreaming about vacation, stewing over the past. Did you know that well over 50% of our thoughts are the same ones we think every day? Rarely are we in the present moment, tuned into ourselves and our environment.
Living in your head keeps you out of your body and out of your emotions. Instead, slow down long enough to ask lovingly yourself “how’re you doing?” You might be surprised at what you hear. Do you have any idea why you’re angry, lonely, or feeling down in the dumps? Have you even put a name to how your feeling to it to begin with? With no connection to your body you’re a balloon on a string, floating through life at the whim of the wind, only adding to the belief that life is out of your control.
Throughout the day, close your eyes and take a deep breath. Check in with your body by asking these three simple questions: Am I tired? Am I hungry? Am I thirsty? Respond by giving to yourself in a healthy way. If you need a nap, take it. A 15- minute power nap is far better than slamming down a mocha frappuccino to get you through the rest of the day.
Connect with your Soul
The beat of our hearts directs the rhythm of our bodies, but it’s our heart in the bigger sense orchestrating what has meaning and value to us. What do you love? What tugs at your heartstrings, makes your heart sing? This is the language of your soul – the unique spiritual aspect that makes you purely you.
When you feel like something is missing it’s your soul trying to get your attention. Have you given up your quirkiness to conform? Is your personality reflected in your home, your clothes, or the work you do? Do you cater to your whims, your fancies and your needs? Doing so connects you back up to your original self, and when you do, a life force energy comes with it that feeds your motivation, creativity and contentment.
The ways to connect with your soul are as diverse as humanity– but there are universal things that feed us all, like beauty, quiet, laughter, music, and color.
What’s good for your soul? It could be watching your dog romp in the grass, tracking a hawk sailing across the sky, or pedaling a mountain bike up a steep hill. Or maybe it’s fresh flowers on the table every week, taking in a live performance in the City, or screaming your lungs out at a Warrior game. Whatever it is, make it a priority to do it.
Connect with the World
We all know what it’s like to feel alone in a crowd. When you interact with people daily without genuine connection, life can be lonely and stale.
When did you last spend quality time with someone just talking, laughing, and doing something fun? When you felt heard and seen, and not responsible for taking care of someone’s expectations? Find those people to spend genuine, heartfelt moments with. They are the ones who reflect the best of you, and you them. Consider ways to connect with the people you live and work with in a more meaningful way. When you begin from a present awareness of your genuine self, your experience of others shifts dramatically.
You can seek soulful connection with people intellectually. Attend a lecture , conference or a compelling performance. Listen to an author speak, see a great movie. Connect your mind to like minds in a way that is dynamic, creative, and inquisitive – in a way that sparks possibility in you apart from everyday life.
Being in a group stimulates and satisfies the primal part of your brain wired to belong to a tribe – it means safety and security on a deep, unconscious level. Even the most introverted of us needs to belong among people, even for a while. Where do you feel like you belong? Look for opportunities in church, school or create a tribe of your own grounded in something you love.
The best way to slow down, center yourself, get in touch with your feelings and check out what has really been running your mind is to get in nature. We all know intuitively we feel better in nature, and science backs it up. We are happier in nature because we are nature too. Tapping back into the pulse of the Earth’s electromagnetic field, to the wind around us, the bustle of birds and bugs, the peace of deer grazing on a hill, a show of light and sound as water tumbles over rocks calms the nervous system, reduces stress, and clears the mind. Spending time outdoors repeatedly in positive ways can actually create new neural pathways in the brain– in other words – nature changes how you think and how you feel.
Connecting helps you find what’s missing – your bigger Self – through the language of your Soul, in nature, and interactions with others. Connecting creates the shift that lets you experience life as happening through you, not to you. As you connect with what’s missing, the power to choose more of the life you want becomes clear.
The first white flower popped open on the plum tree outside my kitchen window today. Yesterday, there was nothing but stark gray-brown branches. By days’ end, it will explode with life. There’s no holding back this creative force. It runs deeply in each one of us. It is Nature, and thus our nature, to grow and expand – to let life come through. It is instinct to survive.
Neglecting our “selves” cuts off this life force, and when we do, it can turn on us and morph into something unrecognizable – anger, depression, disconnection. What was once the high energy of creative consciousness pools and stagnates, lowering the vibration of our feelings and experience, and eventually, our bodies. Our health suffers. We suffer.
As you wake from the slumber of Winter, ask yourself: “What part of me is longing to express itself?”
Do you have an “art” you let go of, or always wanted to try? Whether you color with your children or rebuild an engine, bake a cake or mud pies, paint a mural or paint your fingernails – creativity wants to move through everyone. How did you love to play as a kid? What you’ve neglected is still there. Think back. Let yourself day dream – don’t edit yourself, allow.
As a child, I loved to dance. I begged my mom to put records on the stereo, and then shimmied and shook my way across the living room in wild abandon. It occurred to me recently how rarely I even listen to music when alone. I’ve become too content with silence. As Spring unfolds, I’ll make time for my Dancer self. I’ll dance with my daughters in my grown-up living room, or bravely go to that conscious movement class I just heard about.
How can you let your neglected expression appear? Start with your body – slow down, turn your attention inward. Breathe. Ask what wants to come through. The more you tune into your body, the more your creative instincts will rise up. Pay attention, be spontaneous.
The more you allow creative life force to express through you, the more your intuition – that direct knowing without knowing how you know – pours through to solve problems, inspire, and reveal who you are and “what matters” to you. There are answers to things the logical mind can’t resolve that flow easily through creativity.
As the season shifts with the Spring Equinox, make a date with your Self to create with abandon. It just takes one small step toward opening – one bloom, and a bit of sunlight – and suddenly the whole tree is alive with color.